Hurting

HURTING

Those who are heartless, once cared too much.

Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional.

Most of us can relate on some level to the feeling of being pained. Even people who excel at taking personal responsibility have at least one story of having been extremely hurt. Though some of us have endured more serious situations, you really can’t quantify or compare emotional pain. When you’re hurting, some people might tell you to “suck it up and deal,” as if that’s a valid solution. They may say “it’s all in your head” and assume that reasons away the pain. But none of that will help you heal and find happiness from moment to moment. Like everyone, I've been hurt, in both profound and trivial ways.

It’s not always easy to identify and understand what’s hurting you. There’s no guarantee that you’ll be able to communicate how you feel to the person who hurt you or the one you've hurt; and if you can, there’s no guarantee they’ll respond how you want them to. Say what you need to say anyway. Get it all out.

It’s not easy to have a great relationship – but it’s not impossible either – it takes a lot of work. A lot of times, the work isn’t enough though. I’ve watched a lot of break-ups (some of them my own). I’ve seen dramatic flare-ups and drawn-out slow fades, I want it stopped.

I want to stop not trusting.

There are two aspects of trust that are important in relationships. One is trusting your partner enough to know that s/he won’t cheat on you or otherwise hurt you — and to know that he or she trusts you that way, too. The other is trusting them enough to know they won’t leave you or stop loving you no matter what you do or say.

I want to stop reliving the past.

Reliving the past can be addictive. Talking or thinking about exes can be torturing. I want to stop thinking about the past as it destroys my present.

I want to stop telling the story that caused too much pain.

It may seem like another way to understand what happened, or maybe it feels helpful to hear someone say you didn’t do anything wrong and you don’t deserve the hurt. In all reality this just keeps me stuck right where I was: living my life around a memory and giving it power to control me.

I want to start anew with you.
Forgive me for my temporary insanity.
I want to share every waking moment knowing you are with me.
I love you.